Magic
can come from many places.
There
are days when I find it excruciatingly difficult, and it takes every single cell
in my body to conjure up the patience, to deal with my two adult sons, both born
with a developmental disability called Fragile X Syndrome. Today is one of those days. It momentarily feels like any
magic that was there is gone.
At
26 years old, my youngest son has been my consummate teacher--my measurement of
personal growth. He has strong opinions
and shares those with me often, like today. Today, for some unknown reason, he
did not want to wear the clothes he had carefully picked out last night.
Years
ago, I developed a method for the guys to pick out their clothing for the next
day the night before, mostly to save my own sanity in having to do it during
the morning rush. But, this morning, all bets were off. So, even though I was not
in the mood to deal with it, I pulled out my “ready-not-ready” card and waited.
“Ready-not-ready”
is a method that two incredible women taught me years ago when things were at a
tipping point in our family’s life. My husband and I were on the brink of “Neverland”
as I like to say, meaning that we were at the point of never knowing what to do….and
giving up. We needed some kind of life preserver—literally. We had lost
hope and we needed someone to help us restore that hope.
Today's blog is not about the "ready-not-ready" method, but about the people that made it possible. Thankfully,
we knew the right people for that job—Tracy Stackhouse and Sarah Scharfenaker,
or “Tracy and Mouse” as they are known in fragile X circles. They are never known independent of one another,
which is perfectly fine with me because together they are MAGIC.
In
2003, they created an amazing non-profit organization called Developmental FX (developmentalfx.org)
simply because they wanted to dedicate their lives to helping families, like
ours, all over the world with a wide range of therapeutic needs. Totally
logical since these ladies are considered world-wide experts in their fields of
OT and Speech Therapy.
They’ve
spent the past almost 15 years building a team that has a strong base of
knowledge and that shares their philosophy about wrap-around services and a
combined approach to treating people. They built a clinic that is too
incredible to describe, but suffice it to say that it is magic to the little
people that experience it.
Over
the many years that we have known these Magicians, I have also been the
privileged recipient of a wealth of knowledge bestowed upon me by them. This
knowledge has been nothing short of a miracle for me and my husband. Each and
every day we use one method or another to help us survive and get through each
day. Some days we are even a happy, seemingly typical family. Knowing WHAT to do gives a parent
the power to go on with hope and determination. This includes a method called “Ready-not-ready”.
It’s just one of the MANY methods and approaches that Tracy and Mouse taught us
to cope as parents, but also to help our sons in a way that is productive and
helpful.
Developmental
FX has given us something that no other organization has given us—HOPE.
How
many organizations do you use every single day that give you that? Oh, there
are organizations that do a lot of good…but this one allows something no other
does…it gives you tools to use every
single day…..to survive.
When
our sons were very young, there were days when I wanted to sit down in the
middle of the floor, cry, pound my fists to the floor and holler at anyone who
would listen about how tired I was…how sad I was….how I had nothing left to
give. But, that’s all changed.
Oh,
yes, I still have bad days—that’s only human. But, most of them are not because
I don’t know what to do to help my sons. Having the knowledge that Developmental
FX has given me empowers me to help them learn and grow and for us to function
as a family.
Today
is Colorado Gives Day, and between now and December 5, 2017, I want to shout
from a mountain top, loud enough for everyone to hear about Developmental FX so
that folks will fund something special….something MAGIC. No matter where
you live, you can be a part of this! It’s for everyone, not just those in
Colorado! We want to see Tracy and Mouse and their team continue to help
thousands and thousands of other families all over the world just like ours…..
The
ones who struggle every day to find hope;
The
ones who have fought so hard but are "this close" to giving up;
The
ones who live in countries where no one knows anything about fragile X
syndrome;
The
ones with a newly diagnosed child that feel like the diagnosis will strip away
every ounce of determination they can muster.
Click
here to go to Colorado Gives (Colorado Gives Day)
This
morning, I was knee-deep in a shallow pond of impatience…but two hours later, I
feel confident that I have the tools to go on another moment, another hour,
another day, another year with the power of knowledge that will guide me
forward. No day is perfect, but somehow I know I can go on. It’s all because of
two ladies who have shared their MAGIC.
I
hope you will share this post so that others can experience the MAGIC
too.
To learn more about Cindi Rogers, read her full story at Becoming Mrs. Rogers
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